Quarter-Life Crisis: A Reconfiguration

There's something about being 23. Something that is inherently awkward, like getting your first period or having to shave those first patches of pubescent facial hair. Blink 182 puts it - "Nobody likes you when you're 23." But I think Incubus captures it best, at least for me - "A decade ago, I never thought I would be, at 23, on the verge of spontaneous combustion - woe is me." When I was 13, a bad hair day was catastrophic. Kissing at a school dance was scandalous. And getting a C on a test meant I would never get into college. Now, the veil of youth is lifted. I've experienced true loss, true sadness. I've learned about true atrocities - not just waking up late for school or tripping in front of a cute boy - but horrid things, secret bombings and campaigns, systematic manipulation, hidden agendas and elaborate cover-ups. Everyday, there is tragedy.

But then again, there is also sunshine. And ecstasy. And miracles.

And what I'm beginning to realize, more and more each day, is that I must become acquainted with both. I want to experience life, fully without restraint, and to do that is to confront the negativity along with embracing the positivity. Situated between the two, amongst the humanity and ambiguity that lies within the boundaries of right and wrong, I want to understand why people are compelled to lie but are brought to tears by honesty, why they cheat but beg for fairness, why they murder yet rejoice at birth, why they hate when in the end, all they want is to be truly loved.

That is where I want to be. And consequently, that is where I'm at right now. I just recently quit my job, I'm about to graduate college, I'm moving out of my apartment and back in with my mother, and I'm currently single. At 23, I'm living life in the in-between. But maybe that isn't such a bad thing. I've decided to dive in and see what I find. And on the way back up, I will think of all I saw, and look at the sun and moon and stars with a whole new wonder and majesty.